What woman hasn’t wished her husband or boyfriend could read her mind? Perhaps we’ve thought, “Just once, could he know what I’m feeling or what I need without me explaining it to him or writing him a book?”
Sorry to tell you this, my women friends, but not even Superman could read minds, much to Lois Lane’s dismay.
I spent years in anguish and agony over my husband’s inability to understand what I was thinking. The thought never occurred to me that I couldn’t read his thoughts so why did I ever imagine — or hope — he could read mine?
I knew a couple who were married for almost seventy years. The wife wrote her husband weekly letters explaining to him — in infinite detail — her feelings, frustrations and longings. I used to think it was a funny thing to do. But it seemed to work well for them. I don’t know if he ever wrote her letters.
I must admit that many years of my marriage went by before my communication skills with my husband began to improve. Why was it so hard to talk with him about my innermost feelings?
I remember many days I spent crying that he didn’t understand me. And he didn’t. But how could he have without me making an effort to help him?
Perhaps the place to get to in a marriage is the desire to understand your husband as much as you want him to understand you. I think this is the essence of the “Golden Rule.” The idea of treating others the way you would like them to treat you.
Webster defines communication as “a process by which information is exchanged between individuals.”
“Exchanged” is the key word in this definition to me, as it suggests two parties exchanging — communicating — with each other.
Another definition of communication is “the exchange of thoughts, messages or information by speech, signals, writing or behavior.” From my experience, speech and writing have been more effective at getting my point across than signals or behavior.
Every time I’ve tried the “silent treatment” when I’m upset about something and go to bed in that mode, my husband just thinks I’m sleepy and he goes on to sleep while I lay there half the night stewing. When I wake him — eventually — he is totally clueless that anything is wrong.
I’ve almost always found that signals can get crossed, which then results in a mutual misunderstanding, or in other words, a failure to communicate.
Using words to effectively impart information could be considered an “art” — as another definition of communication suggested.
There seems to be an art in how we say what we want to say. Specifically, implementing the proper use of tone and emphasis as well as body language when speaking, are significant factors in getting our meaning across correctly. Without the correct usage, however, the “recipient” in the exchange could become defensive or get hurt feelings as well as totally misunderstand the meaning the “sender” intended.
I have definitely NOT mastered the art of communicating with my husband. And if there are wives out there who feel they have, I would sure love to hear from you. Tips and advice would be most welcomed!
Of course, it could be that women really are from Venus and men from Mars, so we’re destined to never completely understand each other. But perhaps recognizing that men and women have different needs and communicate in different ways is a good way to begin.
It’s probably important, too, to realize that words can have different meanings to men and women.
I heard a comedian explain this once. He gave the word — communication — as an example. He said women define communication as “the open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner” while men define it as “leaving a note before taking a fishing trip with the boys.”
Alas, without the ability to read each other’s minds, men and women may never be able to completely understand each other, but we can remember that we never will without trying. And that takes some form of communication!

Longview Independent School District invites all community members to a Sept. 21 open house, celebrating the historic opening of Ned E. Williams Elementary School. The event will be held from 5-6:30pm at the campus, 5230 Estes Parkway. Descendents of Ned E. Williams are expected to be in attendance.
Ned E. Williams Elementary School was among the first new campuses completed under the district’s $266.9 million bond construction project. It is the first Longview ISD campus south of Interstate 20 and serves students in the Elderville-Lakeport, Easton and Lake Cherokee areas. Cynthia Wise is the campus principal.
About Ned E. Williams: Williams was a former slave who in 1883 founded the Gregg County Training School in the Elderville Community School District. He later studied under Booker T. Washington and George Washington Carver at Bishop College and the Tuskegee Institute. He was an educator for more than 50 years.

Longview ISD invites everyone open house events in September and October at the new campuses. These are among the first new campuses completed under the district’s $266.9 million bond construction project.

Ribbon cuttings will occur at 10 a.m. on the campus/date specified. All campus tours will be held from 5-6:30 p.m., respectively.

Sept. 20:
Forest Park Middle School, 1644 Eastman Rd.
Sept. 21:
Ned. E. Williams Elementary School, 5230 Estes Pkwy.
Sept. 28:
South Ward Elementary School, 1011 South Mobberly Ave.
Oct. 7:
J.L. Everhart Elementary School, 2919 Tryon Rd.
Oct. 12:
Longview High School (Fine Arts/Voc-Ed), 201 Tomlinson Pkwy.
Oct. 14:
Johnston-McQueen Elementary School, 422 FM 2751
Oct. 21:Hudson PEP Elementary School, 1311 Lilly St.

Any multicultural festival is a family-friendly and fun event to be enjoyed.  Communities use these functions to become more conscious of ethnic cultures, recognize how much separate cultures have in common, and hence unite against racism. This one will feature cultural entertainment, vendors, food and music.
The event will be held at the Longview Exhibit Building at 1123 Jaycee Dr., it will run from 10:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. on September 25.
The festival is a “grassroots” event, as encouraged by the Longview Race Relations Committee.  Workers and supporters are drawn from throughout East Texas.  Individuals, assorted groups, city staff and sundry volunteers are all participating.  There are opening for those who wish to take part as a volunteer, vendor, exhibitor or performer.
For more information, please call 903.237.1019 or Branden Johnson at 903.399.6615 or on line at www.LongviewPartnersInPrevention.com.

According to Partners in Prevention Manager Holly Fuller, “September is going to be a busy month for us, but we are excited about these upcoming events. Each program and event is a little different, but the goal is still the same: working together to make Longview a safe, healthy place for our kids and families.”

• Getting Ahead classes started on Tuesday September 7 and will run till mid January, 2011.
• Mentoring program followed suit kicking off on September 8 for Co-Pilots. Next in line is Forever Friends Too which debuts Thursday September 9
•  September 14 is the annual Texas Against Crime Kickoff, Multicultural festival is on Saturday September 25th and ending the month is the Youth Action Committee kickoff. Volunteers are always needed and local citizens are encouraged to get involved.

For more information about Partners in Prevention, please call 903-237-1019 or visit PIP.LongviewTexas.gov.

The ETMC Breast Care Center is holding a free one-day retreat for breast cancer survivors. The retreat is slated for Friday, Oct. 1. Breast cancer survivor and former Women’s National Basketball Association (WNBA) player Edna Campbell will keynote the luncheon.
Moreover, the ETMC Pink Ribbon Getaway will take place at the ETMC Pavilion at 801 Clinic Drive. Registration starts at 7:30 a.m. and the conference will conclude at 2 p.m. The conference is supported by the ETMC Foundation, JC Penney, Dr. Sherilyn and Patrick Willis, and Tyler Professional Firefighters Association.
The event will feature topics such as a physician panel discussion, nutrition tips, lymphedema management, door prizes, and recognition of ETMC’s Pin-A-Sister™ committee.  JC Penney will provide a makeup demonstration for cancer survivors and Tyler firefighters will be on hand to speak about their efforts to help with breast cancer awareness.  Meals and snacks will be provided.
Edna Campbell, the luncheon keynote speaker was a star guard for the Sacramento Monarchs and three other teams.  During her second season, Campbell was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She received treatment and was welcomed back before the fans.  Moreover, she became the WNBA’s national spokesperson for its anti-cancer efforts and received the league’s Kim Perrot Sportsmanship Award in 2003. The WNBA has raised millions of dollars to help educate its fans and the public about breast cancer.
Campbell’s college career began at the University of Maryland, however, she achieved her most notable success right here in Texas on the University of Texas’ women’s team, the Lady Longhorns, where she was named the Southwest Conference Newcomer of the Year in 1990. Campbell retired

All texans benefit when local, state and federal law enforcement agencies join forces and combine our resources to protect the communities we serve. As all peace offi cers know, battling crime is like fighting a war that never ends.
Far too often, as soon as one threat to the public is neutralized, another one pops up to take its place. Fortunately, Texas peace officers readily repeat this never-ending cycle for one purpose: to keep Texans safe. And occasionally, a milestone comes along that gives law enforcement officers a chance to take stock of the good work they have done. In July, the Office of the Attorney General (OAG) marked one of those milestones when the peace offi cers in our Cyber Crimes and Fugitive units made their combined 2,000th arrest. And though we are very proud of our successes, we know that those arrests would not have happened without the help and cooperation we received from city, county and federal law enforcement officers, who helped our teams serve warrants, make arrests and hold these offenders accountable. The 2,000th arrest involved a suspect named Kirk Brandon Muller. He was recently arrested in Austin after he violated his parole by being in contact with a young female. Muller was paroled after his 1993 conviction for sexually assaulting four young girls, ages four to nine. As with the 1,999 arrests that came before it and the arrests that will come in the future, Muller’s apprehension makes our neighborhoods a little safer for Texas families.
The Fugitive Unit works with the Texas Department of Criminal Justice and other law enforcement agencies to locate and arrest fugitives with a history of sex crimes against children, specifi cally those offenders who have violated parole or sex offender registration requirements. Parole violations include failing to report to parole officers or being present in areas that might allow them access to young children.
Since the Fugitive Unit was launched in August 2003, it has arrested 1,900 fugitives. The Cyber Crimes Unit is tasked with patrolling virtual neighborhoods online and finding sexual predators that use the Internet to prey upon children. This initiative has resulted
in 115 arrests of online sex offenders and convictions against more than 100 child pornographers. Cyber Crimes Unit officers recently
arrested Robert Eugene Dobbins.
According to investigators, Dobbins initiated an online chat with someone he believed to be a 14-year-old male. Investigators say Dobbins sexually propositioned the purported child, arranged to meet him in downtown Austin, and planned to travel with the boy on a metro bus to Dobbins’ south Austin apartment. When Dobbins arrived at the downtown meeting point, he encountered Cyber Crimes Unit officers – not an underage child – and was taken into custody.
From the Attorney General’s Office to a rural sheriff’s office to an urban police department, the fight to protect Texans is never really done. All Texans are fortunate that so many dedicated peace officers bravely put themselves in harm’s way so they can keep children and families safe. So though we may have to continue fighting, with
dedication, hard work and continued multi-jurisdictional cooperation, we will continue to win the war against crime.

The middle of September at the Tyler Public Library will be filled with bears, pirates and American girls!
Celebrate the Teddy Bear with four mornings of Teddy Bear Picnics for preschoolers, Tuesday through Friday, Sept. 14–17. Then, Saturday morning, Sept. 18, school-age girls can travel back in time to Colonial America at the American Girl Reading Club. That afternoon, all ages can set sail for the Library and a swashbuckling Pirate Party!
Picnic Time for Teddy Bears! – Young children are encouraged to bring their favorite bears or other stuffed toys to any of the four Teddy Bear Picnics that will be held Tuesday through Friday, Sept. 14-17, from 10:30 to 11:15 a.m. Each Teddy Bear Picnic will be filled with special Teddy tales, crafts, games and refreshments. The activities each morning will wrap up with a short film featuring one of the great bears of children’s literature.
“This is the 10th year that the Library has hosted Teddy Bear Picnics,” said Evelyn McLane, Library programming associate. “Our youngest Library patrons always enjoy bringing their favorite stuffed animals to the Library. For a special event like this, we invite children from area child care facilities to join the families and youngsters who visit us weekly for preschool story time.”
“Information is the currency of democracy.” – Thomas Jefferson – In honor of Constitution Week, costumed members of the Mary Tyler Chapter of the Daughters of the American Revolution will visit the Library’s American Girl® Reading Club on Saturday, Sept. 18 from 10 a.m. to noon. The special guests will share the story of the American Revolution and Constitution and describe details of life for girls and women in Colonial America. Girls will also learn colonial games, crafts and refresh themselves with some “revolutionary” snacks!
The American Girl® Reading Club, a regular family program for girls ages 5-12, meets on the third Saturday of each month.
Prepare to be blown out of the water! – Pirates, brigands and buccaneers of every age are invited to celebrate all things piratical Saturday, Sept. 18 from 2 to 4 p.m. at the Library’s “Talk Like a Pirate Party.” Would-be swashbucklers—in pirate costume or in landlubber togs—can gobble up pirate grub, try their hands at games and crafts and enjoy the antics of pirate sword fighters from Drama with a Point Productions.

The Smith County Republican Club will be meeting at Heartland Ham (3400 S. Broadway, Tyler) this Thursday, Sept. 9, at 6:30pm. Dr. Robin Armstrong, former vice chairman of the Republican Party of Texas is the special guest.
Former chair of the RPT, Tina Benkiser will also attend. Dinner is at 6pm and cost is $8 per person for sandwiches, chips, cookies, and drinks. Everyone is welcome. For more information, call 903-581-6795.

East Texas Book Fest, will feature great speakers on topics ranging from creative writing, researching for a book, marketing and promotion.
Book exhibition area will be open throughout the event to allow participants time to talk to authors, browse and buy books. This event is from 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. at UTTyler Ornelas Activity Center, 3402 Old Omen Road in Tyler For more information call, 903.316.4915